DadVice 2: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

With our DadVice column having been such an incredible success, we accepted that you, the audience, needed more. More. MORE.

And so, without further ado, we welcome you to the nuanced insight that is DadVice 2.

Question 1
What happens regularly that would horrify people from 100 years ago?

Shem says: Playing 100% Orange Juice.

Mike says: People advocating for violent repression of opinions that don’t agree with theirs. Or furries. Probably furries.

Rock says: People sitting round a table, talking to each other on their phones.

Question 2
Currently at a gay work mates house, cant get home, he is drunk and he is asking me to get into bed.
Honestly don’t know what to do. I’m straight and a taxi home is like £40. 
He was chatting to some other geezer about a jock strap and how he is going to turn up naked.

Shem says: To be honest fam, £40 is a lot of money. On behalf of your bank manager, take one for the team.

Mike says: £40 or popping your bum cherry……if you have to ask yourself you’re probably interested in being fucked in the ass. Do it.

Rock says: Dick move on his part, go for the epic cock block by getting in a fucking cab, or wedge your back against the wall with some furniture and pray he doesn’t he’s too tired to move it.

Question 3
I can’t have sex with the only woman I’m interested in. So about 6 months ago I (21M) broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years, and since then I have been just having kind of meaningless sex with women from tinder and clubs. I’ve enjoyed myself but there’s one problem, now I’ve met a woman who I actually like, she’s funny, cool and gorgeous, we’ve been on a few dates and I really like her but twice now when we’ve been getting heated in the bedroom I can’t get hard and I don’t know why because I find her so attractive. does anyone have an idea why or any advice?

Shem says: Erectile dysfunction is a common complaint for many healthy men, so I’m told. A great deal of useful information can be found from the NHS website.

Mike says: My dude, you’re clearly into other dudes. Own it, and find yourself a man like Louie Spence

Rock says: Clearly performance anxiety. Get drunk and try again, but not so drunk you can’t get it up for being drunk.

Question 4
What should I wear to meme day at my school?

Shem says: Image attached.

Sam Hyde
Sam Hyde

Mike says:
Image result for jim office

Rock says: meme day

Question 5
I’m stuck in a dead end town, is there really nothing I can do? I’m living in a very small town with next to no work whatsoever. I’ve got no vehicle to go out of town to get a job, and I don’t have a job to buy a vehicle. My address doesn’t register on any map, so I’m unable to obtain any type of credit/debit card. I can’t afford an ID, and I have no relatives to drive me to and from where I need to be. Public transport is nonexistent here. I’m living with my mother, but she’s the only one here, and she’s in the same boat. We live off of social security benefits. I’m only eighteen right now, but all of this is putting a pretty bad taste in my mouth. We’ve tried to get our address registered correctly four or five times over the course of four years and it hasn’t been fixed

Shem says: Image attached.

The only solution
The only solution

Mike says: Get off your ass and make it work. If someone born without a goddamn heart can survive your lazy ass can get there. Ask for help and do it.

Rock says: Small town folk look after their own, there will be people locally who’ll employ you if you’ve got the right attitude.

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