DadVice 4: The Dream Master

Question 1: What’s the secret to accepting getting older?

Shem says: You have two choices. Of those two, one – getting older – is a lot better.

Mike says: Don’t. A wise man once said that you don’t stop playing because you’re grown up, but because you’ve forgotten to have fun. You’re not any different than you were ten years ago, other than physically.

Rock: Pretending it isn’t happening.

I’m not being facetious, “use it or lose it” isn’t just some daft phrase, just keep doing what you’re doing and lo and behold you’ll be able to keep doing it. One of the most “get up and go” people I know is well into his 80’s, the only thing he ever complains about is that his hands have gone to shit. Everyone is still 25 in their heads anyway.

Question 2: What are some effective ways to recover from burnout?

Shem says: Change. Change something. Something big. But change it. If you keep going as you are, and you’re feeling burnt out, it won’t end well. See “the other choice” to question 1.

Mike says: Have a wank. Failing that, have a coke and a smile motherfucker.

Rock: Getting far too drunk, and / or just spend a day doing useless shit like playing video games. Spend a few hours being useful if you’re going to feel guilty about doing fuck all, but let yourself have 6 or 8 hours to yourself.

Question 3: I just found out today that a girl i liked 2 years ago might have liked me. i still like her. Did i f*ck it up beyond repair?

Mike says: Not yet you didn’t, go get the girl you dick.

Rock: Call her, numbnuts.

Shem: Third for “get back in touch”. Worst she can do is tell you you’re too late.

It’s never too late to try, or to try again.

Question 4: What are the best ways to start your day?

Shem says: Move around in your chair. Check Tweetdeck. Put the coffee machine on.

Mike says: receiving oral sex. If you can’t get that, a nice cup of tea and a fuck you attitude do wonders.

Rock: Roll out of bed 15 minutes before you need to leave the house, drive to work still half asleep, and don’t even bother checking your e-mails until you’ve had 3 cups of tea and shouted the answers at pop master.

Works a treat for me.

Question 5: What do I do if someone is making racist remarks/jokes towards me?

Shem: There’s not a lot of context here. I’m assuming, from your asking, that it concerns you. It was amongst friends, for example, and friends were over-reaching, I’d suggest taking them to one side, and telling them it makes you uncomfortable. If it’s in a formal capacity, and you want to go straight to 11, go to 11. There’s so much context left out here – it’s very difficult to answer. At the most basic level, you need to let them know they’ve done wrong, if they have? I’m assuming here – as you haven’t actually said how you feel about it.

Depending on the various parts left out, pick a suitable way of doing so.

Mike says: If you can’t quietly have them fired/excommunicated/dumped, then consider you’re in the wrong place and burn it to the ground.

Rock: Have you considered telling them to fuck off?

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