DadVice 7 – The Force Awakens

How to nicely tell roommate/coworker their friend can’t keep staying over?

Shem says: Well, this depends on the situation. Do either of you hold majority / executive decisions on the place? If they do, you may be kind of screwed.

If it’s happening too often – I’m assuming there’s an issue with them staying over; something that is bothering you? Perhaps focus on that, rather than the number of times they are staying?

Rock says: How much say do you have in this? If you’re not in a position to put your foot down what are your options, go bitch at the landlord and make both your work and home life unbearably awkward? So it’s either a gentle suggestion that this isn’t entirely reasonable, and hope he cares, or start looking for somewhere else. You could always get your mates round every other day and see if it pisses him off, maybe he’ll get the hint.

Mike says: Put your fucking foot down you goon. Either you go or they do. Don’t be a doormat.

Opinions on dating a girl with kids as a 20 year old man

Mike: Unless you’re planning on fucking her kids, who gives a flying fuck? See who you want, and don’t let the white man keep you down.

Rock says: Short answer is no. Long answer is no because you’ve asked, and thus the kids are either an issue or likely to become an issue. In which case it isn’t going to be fair on them unless you happen to fall madly in love with each other, which probably isn’t going to happen.

I lost my job and it wasn’t even my fault. What do I do?

Shem: It wasn’t your fault in a “legal” kind of sense? In which case, lawyer up – or at least explore it. Or it wasn’t my fault in a “but it was their right to sack me” kind of sense? In which case, it feels shit. But there is nothing you can do about it, and there is nothing to be gained by walling in self pity about it. Get the fuck up, and find the next horse to mount.

Rock says: Yeah, unless you’re after legal recourse I’m guessing you go find another job. It’s a lot easier to find a job if you’ve either got one, or have just left one, so don’t fuck about.

Mike says: Welcome to life on the dole. Get another job, and fight a tribunal case for wrongful dismissal if you feel that strongly about the previous job.

Should I tell my friend her BF is cheating on her?

Shem says: There is no good answer to this. Are you an emotionally intelligent person? If you are, you will figure out the ‘right’ thing to do to navigate through this. If you are not… just be very, very gentle, whatever you do. The ‘right’ thing is, of course, to tell her. But there is a ‘right’ way, and many, many ‘wrong’ ways of doing so. And even then, the ‘right’ way may not go well.

Be careful.

Rock says: If she finds out you knew, she won’t be your friend much longer, on the other hand if it was a drunken 1 night thing that she is literally never going to know about then why rock the boat.

Mike says: You should. But, you will then be shot as the messenger. You will lose both friends, at least for a time. If you can live with that, go for your life.

How do you get over an ex you still care about greatly?

Shem says: You need to HONESTLY assess the situation. Not “wishful thinking”. Have they moved on? Have you moved on? (This sounds like a ‘no’). Has the situation that caused the break-up changed?

Never say never. But be honest with yourself. Learning to move on is a skill.

Rock says: Give it about 10 years or so. You’ll still care, you just won’t be kidding yourself that you’re ever getting back together and get on with living your life.

Mike says: You don’t. Compartmentalise, and move the shit on. Otherwise you won’t ever get another girlfriend Kurt.

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