DadVice VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

So I was in a call with my friend and she was talking about how her parents weren’t going to be home and sibling were going to over there friends house. Then she ask me could I come over to have sex, I chuckled nervously and said sure, should I do it. I’m only fourteen.

Shem says: I am guessing that if you are 14, she’s also around 14. Heads up, champ – the world tends to view the male as ‘the person doing the wrong thing’ if it comes out. And it will come out. Because you are 14, and your friends are 14, and you’ll brag about it, because you’re 14. It may seem I’m focusing strongly on the “You’re 14” angle. It’s not because you’re too young for adult things.

It’s because you’ve got a lot of living to do, if it all goes wrong. Give it time.

Mike says: No, legally you should wait for the age of consent before you do anything.

Rock says: I was going with sarcastic “No”, now I’m thinking genuine no. If you had to ask you’re not up to the task.

How can I, a 16 year old boy, ask my parents to take me to the doctor for a mental health issue?

Mike says: You’re 16, go make the appointment yourself and tell your parents you have the symptoms of a chest infection.

Shem says: At 15 or 16, I forget – I had a breakdown of sorts. It was ultimately depression. The doctor was incredibly supportive, and helped me address the situation with my parents, and with the school. And this was 20 years ago. I’m hopeful that you would be able to go and see someone, and address any other complications in your life, with the support you deserve.

Rock says: You can probably take yourself, however it the sort of thing that’s going to freak your parents out when they find out. I’m guessing “just ask them” is a moot point. Maybe you could ask the doctor to send you a letter summoning you for something innocuous and then when you turn up let the cat out the bag. Doctors don’t charge for sending letters right???

I am very socially stunted and I have no idea how the whole humor thing works. Help?

Shem says: It’s fine, Mike. We are used to you, now.

Mike says: Become a comedian. So long as you say “Orange man bad” and “EU GOOD” you’ll be lauded.

Rock says: Don’t try and be funny and just try and be interesting. People will soon cotton on that you don’t necessarily take well to jokes and stop trying them.

My wife’s personality took a 180 and now I am stuck in a loveless marriage and suffering from stress and depression. We have 3 kids, what do?

Shem says: Kids are damn smart. As careful as you may be, they will pick up on signs, if you try and bullshit them. Have you talked to your wife your feelings regarding her recent interactions? Maybe she is going through something you are unaware of. Maybe you can help? Maybe you can’t. Leaving should be your final option, but it should certainly be a option.

Mike says: Leave. Leave and find your happiness.

Rock says: Is your Mrs bipolar? I had an ex who would swing one way or the other every couple of months and it was something that needed managing. Otherwise she’s probably unhappy herself in which case you’re probably best formulating an exit strategy. Kids are tougher than you think.

Should I eat cake today?

Mike says: No Shem, you already ate cake today, and you’ll die of fat.

Shem says: Eat cake. It is the end of the month; it is therefore payday, or day you didn’t get a payday.

Either way, you deserve cake.

Rock says: If you’re asking, you probably don’t eat cake every single fucking day so yeah, why the hell not.

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