Star Trek Beyond

This is not going to be an easy review. Yes, I am an old school Trekkie. No, I’ve not been a fan of the recent movies.

Spock, Kalara and McCoy

Spock, Kalara and McCoy

I’m hopeful that in stating this early, it will help us all judge “where I’m coming from”.

So, to the review.

Star Trek Beyond is a very pretty movie. It is a sci-fi action movie.

If that sounds forced, then I concede; I’m trying to be nice.

In my humble opinion, the movie shares more with Star Wars than it does with Star Trek. It’s a fast action movie with a lot of CGI aliens, impressive CGI shots of spaceships, and various action set pieces. The fact that these aliens are colourful is about as deep as we get into their culture. And I think that’s a lot of my problem with modern Trek; it feels like a pretty shallow experience.

Having said that, the tribute to Leonard Nimoy was touching. Ambassador Spock was our last connection to the original Trek universe… one of my all-time favourite characters across all of media.

I’ve delayed the actual review long enough… let’s get to it.

Kirk gives a lift to an alien (Kalara) at a starbase. In doing so, Enterprise is destroyed by the baddie. They find an old Starfleet ship on the planet where they crash landed. Plot twist with baddie is revealed. They return to the starbase in time to fight the baddie. Credits roll.

It obviously made a heck of an impression.

Pretty explosions

Pretty explosions

Writing credits go to Simon Pegg and Doug Jung. Jung is famous for Dark Blue and Big Love. Pegg was famous for Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, and has increasingly been seen as the Hollywood homogenised version of a geek. He’s replacing Wil Wheaton as the go-to for this.

I’m done. I really can’t add much more to this. It’s a movie. It’s pretty. Stuff happens.

Pros: Pretty

  • It’s a pretty movie.
  • Lots of explosions.
  • Seriously – a touching tribute scene to Nimoy.
  • It’s not “Into Darkness”.

Cons: It’s not Star Trek

  • Shallow.
  • Dull.
  • Pointless.
  • Beastie Boys save the universe.


It was great to see Kirk on a motorbike again. We need more bike scenes.

1.5 out of 5

1.5 out of 5

1 Response

  1. Shemmie says:

    I feel I spent as much time writing that as Pegg and Jung did. I put about as much of my heart in, too.

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